


Nightmare Erasing Ray Gun of Love!

by cloudnining



Category: Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Coping, F/F, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry for being a Mikan kinnie, IT'S NOT MY FAULT, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, nanamiki, sigh, tsunami, wish they respected her past instead of making her fanservice the whole game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24310144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudnining/pseuds/cloudnining
Summary: Mikan has a tough time coping with her past, but Chiaki's here to help.Or, I want Mikan in a  healthy happy relationship with gamer girl-chan because I believe they'd be so good to each other. In this AU Chiaki miraculously survived Junko's execution in DR3 because Mikan snapped out of it and realized her love and raced against all odds to save Chiaki, convincing Junko that Chiaki was worth turning into an Ultimate Despair. Chiaki never caved into the brainwashing, but pretended to be an Ultimate Despair for the sake of surviving and staying by her class. This is after the events of SDR2 and Future in DR3, they've all gone and lived in peace. Mikan and Chiaki are girlfriends. A one-shot I wrote based off of.... events.❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀Trigger warnings: implied CSA, PTSD, SA in general, physical abuse, nightmares and flashbacks.
Relationships: Nanami Chiaki/Tsumiki Mikan
Comments: 14
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

Eyes everywhere, covering the walls, floors, ceilings — if any of those existed any longer. Mikan scrambled to escape the eyes, but no matter how far she ran or for how long, she was stuck. She felt as if she was running in place. They saw through her clothes, through her skin, through her bones into the disgusting core of her, her impure heart. She cried out and gasped, but they would not stop driving their gaze into her. The spectators jeered and mocked her; she undressed herself for them, and nothing. She dug her nails into her skin till she bled, and nothing. They protruded ubiquitously, leaving Mikan with no escape. _Disgusting, worthless, useless, gross, immoral, depraved._ They chanted with no mouths; flashing irises of red and yellow. _Obscene, unclean, dishonorable, repulsive. Die, die, die, die_. Mikan broke into sobs and dug her head in the ground, attempting to shelter herself with her arms over her head and closing her lids. However, the eyes managed to make their way into her head, allowing her no reprieve. Mikan screamed once more in agony and woke up gasping on her bed, an extremely concerned Chiaki already having attempted to wake her up at her side. Mikan, still not completely in reality, made a rash move to evade Chiaki, her instincts signaling her as a potential aggressor. She fell off the bed and collapsed onto the floor, her back taking the brunt of it. Chiaki was quickly by her side, worry consuming her features. 

“Mikan! It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s me, it’s Chiaki.” she repeated this over and over, like a mantra, until Mikan accepted it and buried her face into Chiaki’s neck, breaking out into sobs. Chiaki softly pet Mikan’s back, helping her back up into the bed and cradling Mikan on her lap while humming a tune from Minecraft softly. Mikan _did_ always love the calming music there. 

“I’m sorry! I’m—” _hic_ “sorry! Chiaki…” Mikan desperately nuzzled her head into Chiaki’s neck and shoulder, craving the safety she brought upon her. She clung hard, her arms wrapped around Chiaki with an iron grip. More sobs ensued, along with coughs as Mikan struggled to breathe amidst her tears. 

Chiaki pressed a soft kiss to Mikan’s forehead. “Hey, it’s okay, take your time. I’m here.” 

Mikan clung to Chiaki harder. “Chiaki! I’m sorry, I stupidly” _sob, hic_ “disrupted your sleep, how dare I, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s all my fault, I’m so useless, please slap me or punch me or kick—”

Chiaki frowned deeply. “Mikan, _no_ . I would _never_ do that. You don’t deserve that sort of treatment, okay? You’re a person.”

“Do- Do you really think so?” Mikan choked between sobs. Chiaki nodded and smiled warmly down at her girlfriend, pressing another gentle kiss to her forehead. 

“I know so. Not only a person, but also my most beloved person.” 

Mikan froze in place, eyes widening until she felt they could pop out of her skull. Chiaki’s voice echoed in her head, increasing in volume. _Beloved, beloved, beloved, beloved_ . Suddenly, she was no longer in her bedroom with Chiaki, but on a cold, hard floor in some underground base with a side of her face pressed into the ground, the other being punctured with a sharp heel. A wicked laugh permeated her mind, a slew of insults following suit: _disgusting, ugly bitch, why do I let you breathe around me again?_ The heel pressed harder into her face, drawing blood. Mikan breathed in sharply. _I deserve this, I deserve this. I deser_ —

“Hey, Mikan! Mikan…. I’m here.” Snapping back to reality, Mikan turned to the source of the voice, looking into Chiaki’s eyes which were themselves welling up in tears. Chiaki quickly rubbed them away and cleared her throat. “Are you alright? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I chose that word until…”

“S-She never loved me.” Mikan rocked back and forth, biting hard into her nail. “D-do you? Chiaki? Do you l-love me?” Mikan cursed at herself for her stutter in the back of her head. She’d worked so hard to rid herself of it, and here it was again. Would Chiaki laugh and spit in her face like _SHE_ did? Would she realize the worthlessness of her and abandon her once she was no longer useful? Would she—”

“Mikan, I love you.” Chiaki was quick to regain her composure, her fingers trailing softly along the long tendrils of Mikan’s hair and pressing more kisses to her cheeks and forehead. “Nothing can ever change that, okay? ‘Cause… you’re special. To me.” 

Mikan cried harder, burying her face into Chiaki’s chest. Chiaki resumed her humming, this time to the tune of a gentle Pokemon beginning route theme. Chiaki put a mental reminder on herself to take note of whatever language Junko used to manipulate Mikan to avoid it at all costs. Once Mikan’s sobs had softened, Chiaki got up off the bed and motioned for Mikan to watch her. Chiaki reached behind where she kept her PS4 and her docked Switch beneath their TV, (she liked having those directly in their bedroom for easy access whilst the older retro consoles stayed in the living room) and asked Mikan to close her eyes. After Mikan did so, Chiaki approached with light footsteps and asked Mikan to open them again. Mikan gasped in shock and mild horror — was that a gun? Chiaki struck a pose with a gun looking object in hand pointed directly at Mikan. Save for the fact the barrel was shaped into a heart, and it had cutesy wings protruding from either side of it. Also, it was pale pink. 

“Ch-Chiaki, if you want to kill me I understand, please-!”  
  


Chiaki giggled and shook her head. “This isn’t an actual killing gun, Mikan.”

Mikan tilted her head, wiping off the stray tears from earlier. “Wh-What is it, then?”

“It’s…” Chiaki did a slow spin and crouched down, pointing the gun at Mikan again. “The nightmare erasing ray gun of love!” She exclaimed, though her voice remained its usual monotone. “3D printed. Was meant to be a birthday gift for you next week..." she shrugged, "but now is as good a time as ever.” 

“What d-does it do?” Mikan asked. 

“It erases nightmares with the power of love.” Chiaki huffed proudly, sitting beside Mikan at the edge of the bed and handing her the ray gun. Mikan took it, slightly apprehensive, and observed it. The design was extremely intricate, and Mikan was not aware 3D printing was already this advanced. 

“I-it does?”

“Yes! One shot before sleep each night, and every time you have a nightmare, it will summon me to blast it into oblivion with love.” Chiaki beamed, throwing her arms around Mikan and embracing her in a bear hug which sent them tumbling backwards into their heart shaped pillows. Mikan started crying once more. “Mikan, what is it? Did the hug startle you? I’m s—”

Mikan laughed amidst her crying, signaling they were, in fact, tears of joy. “Chiaki… I can’t believe you would put so much effort into something like this for… m-me.” She sniffled. Chiaki caressed Mikan and peppered her with kisses all over. 

A serious expression befell Chiaki, and she made eye contact with Mikan after the kiss shower. “Mikan.”

“Yes?” Mikan spoke between sniffles. 

Chiaki smiled again, eyes glowing with love as she extended her arms. “Come cuddle.” 

Mikan happily snuggled into her. The two made promises to bake brownies in the morning for comfort, and they fell fast asleep.


	2. Self-Loathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back before the Neo World Program, the Remnants of Despair are wreaking havoc, trying their hardest to ensure mankind may never resurface from its demise, that the work of one Junko Enoshima would not be forgotten. That is, of course, except for one member among them - one Chiaki Nanami, saved by Mikan Tsumiki in a regretful change of heart from her own demise; Chiaki lives hidden within the Remnants, not one of them mentally, but seeking for a way to stamp out the damage done to her friends from the inside. And maybe, become more than friends with her now-savior... 
> 
> Or, OBLIGATORY FLASHBACK CHAPTER!!!! Mikan is still an Ultimate Despair, Chiaki is not brainwashed and lived, takes place between DR1 and SDR2 of course, and Chiaki is desperately trying to manually achieve what the Neo World Program would be doing by default - but she is just one girl, so she focuses her current efforts on one other girl....

The epitome of irony rested in the room of one Mikan Tsumiki that night. 

She was ridden with the one illness she knew next to nothing of; much less how to cure it. She threw daggers at her reflection on the mirror, hoping it would somehow bounce back onto her in a literal manner and finally cause her overdue death. She wanted nothing more than to scream, tear away at her own flesh, tug at her own hair, punch her stupid face in… 

She wanted nothing more than that which had been done to her by others for years. 

The Ultimate Nurse bit so hard down onto her lip that the metallic taste of blood soon overflowed her tongue. _This isn’t fair…_ she whined inwardly. _Now that I need them, they aren’t here_ … her knees buckled from underneath her and she knelt before the mirror now, almost as if in prayer. She was shaking violently, every inch of her, and the blood from her lip had trickled down to her neck and her chest. Mikan giggled, reaching for her first aid kit. _Just like before_ … she hesitated as her hand hovered over it and decided against healing herself. Perhaps this was her punishment, no? The punishment for being such a disgusting, filthy, hideous, repulsive, abhorrent, gr—

_Knock knock._

Mikan sprung up as if possessed by her inner demons; who could it be? Was it finally someone willing to relieve her of her disgusting self, someone willing to finally end her misery? Mikan would hope her last moments would be spent kissing at the feet of her savior before they ended her in one fell swoop. She would never be more grateful to anyone, truly, and—

Instead, a sweet, concerned voice like caramel called out. “Um, Mikan, are you in there?” 

Oh. 

_Oh_. 

Mikan began to hurriedly pace around the room in a panic, tempted to shatter her mirror; no, not _her_ , anyone but her. Mikan was familiar with the utter dread, the imminent sense of doom that came whenever her beloved or any of her other old classmates came: certain, frightful, and fit for someone like her. But with this girl… with Chiaki… 

It was as though a field of flowers bloomed within her heart, as if soft violin music soothed her to sleep after a day of noise ridden nonsense, as if she received a gentle kiss on the forehead from the angels themselves… hope. 

She crawled over to the door, opening it while still on her knees; immediately, she clung to the pair of legs that stood before her. _Salvation_.

Chiaki wasted no time in closing the door behind her and ushering herself into the room, kneeling down to eye level with Mikan and tenderly lifting her chin up. “Come on, Mikan… no need for that. Are you alright?” She smiled that warm, honeyed smile of hers (albeit with a hint of worry shining through), and Mikan became absorbed in Chiaki once again. Were these feelings wrong for her to have? Her beloved had despised Chiaki so much that she almost had her killed — by Mikan’s hand no less — and yet something tugged so incredibly hard at Mikan’s heartstrings just before Chiaki opened that final door that would have led to her untimely death. She _had_ to save her. The days spent nursing Chiaki back to health (and herself, after having dealt with the wrath of her beloved) only served to have Mikan surrender to her growing feelings even more. Mikan’s guilt oozed into the very core of her being. Someone like _her_ , who was almost complicit in Chiaki’s death was not worthy of her concern. Chiaki’s limp was still there — it was a miracle that she was already walking by now after what her legs and foot took during her failed execution. For every limp in Chiaki’s step, Mikan felt the strongest urge to stab herself with a massive kitchen knife. 

“Heh, does that really matter?” Mikan tilted her head, giggling; drunk on Chiaki’s attention and concern. 

Chiaki’s brow furrowed. She nodded. “Yes, Mikan, it does.” She gingerly took Mikan’s hand and guided her over to her bed; having them both sit down on its edge. 

“I’ve missed you.” Mikan let herself drop onto Chiaki’s lap. “I’m so sorry that I can’t bottle these feelings up anymore…” 

Chiaki chuckled softly, taking tendrils of Mikan’s hair into her hands and carefully brushing her hands through them. “I missed you too, Mikan.” Chiaki was careful with her words. She knew Mikan and the rest of the class were not the same — she refused to give up, however, and believed that it was only a matter of time before she broke through their brainwashing. All this killing, this chaos… it wasn’t them. It wasn’t Mikan. Hajime lingered in her mind, too; he had undergone the most substantial changes of them all… the very loss of his identity. _No matter,_ Chiaki thought to herself. _At this moment, I’m with Mikan_. There was only so much she could do at a time, especially with the group still reeling from the loss of Junko. 

_Junko_.

Chiaki almost felt guilty at her own relief when remembering the girl was deceased. Almost. She was responsible for Chisa and Mikan to turn their backs on her, after all; if it wasn’t for Mikan’s sudden, last-minute change of heart… Chiaki recoiled at the thought, shaking her head in an attempt to erase the oncoming graphic memories of that day. _That’s over. They’re all here with me. Even if their hearts aren’t right now_. 

Mikan playfully booped Chiaki’s nose, breaking her from her train of thought. 

“Y’know, I wondered whether you were here to kill me. It would’ve been so delightful…” Mikan mused, clasping her hands together while looking up at Chiaki from her lap. 

Chiaki shook her head again, trying her best to dismiss the heat in her chest from Mikan’s touch. “I would never do that, Mikan. I—” She stopped herself briefly, analyzing what she was just about to say. “Um, care about you.” She knew she meant it, so why did it feel so half-assed to just say that? 

Mikan teared up, springing up and clinging onto Chiaki, making them both tumble backwards onto the bed. “D-do you mean that?” 

_Ah! She almost sounded like her old self again!_ Chiaki cheered inwardly. “Yes! I really do, Mikan. I care for you so much.”

“The same way you do the rest of the class?” Mikan asked, face covered by her hair. Chiaki widened her eyes, taken aback by the question. Heat rose to her face and spread across her cheeks as she felt Mikan’s breath on her neck. 

“Well, um…” Chiaki stumbled on her words. _Tough question, this is why I hate dating sims_ … she thought. Under different circumstances, she would have lightheartedly laughed at herself for being able to think less seriously again. 

Mikan clung tighter onto Chiaki, dreading and craving her response. Of course, it was natural for her to desire the object of her affection to reciprocate her feelings — and yet, she craved the despair Chiaki’s obvious rejection would induce. Why would someone like Chiaki, so kind and sweet and strong, ever feel the need to be with someone, or even like someone, as detestable, disgusting, filthy, hideous, repulsive, abhorrent, gr—

“N-no, it’s different with you.” Chiaki confessed, burying her face in her hands. Mikan’s thoughts shattered like glass, and she questioned whether her mind had slipped to the point of producing auditory hallucinations. She sat up and looked down in awe at Chiaki. 

“Um… Mikan?” Chiaki called out, still not daring to look beyond her hands at the other girl. 

It would be a long evening for the two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello? i never thought we'd get here. i genuinely never thought i'd update this lmao but i wanna go in deeper to the chiaki survives au cause i love her. i also love (and kin) mikan and want her to get her well deserved depth and development, which spike chunsoft obvs gave no fucks about. anyway. this was sort of a vent cause yes i project heavily onto mikan and it's been.... rough lately, so i thought wow perfect headspace for despair mikan! 
> 
> or i was having fun making some tiktoks and then i remembered how ugly and disgusting my face is and how i shouldn't subject anybody to it and was like huh mikan mood...... 
> 
> made an edit & playlist to go with it if you're interested  
> https://kakushinteki.co.vu/post/626024448561119232/from-the-bottom-of-my-heart-i-hope-we-can-get

**Author's Note:**

> The ray gun Chiaki held toward the end was meant to be an exact replica of the stick the main character Aya in Mahou Shoujo Site uses. It's just so cute! Yes that show was just cheap torture porn, but the designs were still on point.


End file.
